Multitasking

There is this advertisement for Accenture that I haven't seen in print for a long time. I have a copy of it at my desk - to remind me to smile when I get to work. The copy is fabulous ... and I'll go ahead and say accurate, but the image is totally unrealistic to my life.

A few comments about this "working mother" and her daughter... How sweet are they walking hand in hand down the sidewalk? The daughter is dressed in adorable clothes and a perfectly packed backpack. Hey - look at that ... she's actually carrying her own backpack! And her mom ... I'll start with the fact that she is showered. Not to mention wearing a perfectly tailored suit, likely freshly laundered, and has no runs in her pantyhose nor mud clumps on her heels from running through the playground earlier that morning. And look at that laptop bag -- I know no one at Accenture that carries a laptop that skinny. I think I was also in a training class once where I was encouraged to carry 2 umbrellas at a time - with my laptop - just in case I was with a client and it was raining (surely I would give my client my umbrella if I only had one ... and who wants to be wet). She's clearly not carrying 2 umbrellas in that laptop bag.

I can imagine if this were me and either one of the minis - or a true page from my book, with both of the boys - the image would be more like this ...

1. Boys dressed, but wearing most of their breakfast cereal over the top of the outfit. Their hair is a mess - 100% bedhead - "only girls brush their hair so they can wear ponytails."

2. Mom dressed in some sort of professional outfit. Likely pants since she has not had a shower alone in the last 4 years and thus no time to shave her legs. If she were crazy enough to wear a skirt and hose, the hose would absolutely have a run. Her shoes would be fabulous - draw all attention to the shoes and not a.) the crusty remnants of a nose wiped across her shoulder ... b.) a power-puke from those just back from maternity leave mornings ... or c.) the bags under her eyes.

3. I've discussed the size of the laptop bag. Mom would also be carrying her handbag - a fabulous looking bag since it is the only piece of "girl" she can hold onto ... but is inexpensive since it will likely double for a barf bag at some point in its lifespan. It is a big bag ... big enough to hold crayons, wipes, a spare diaper, hand cleaner, a small first aid kit, 2 matchbox cars, 2 dum-dum suckers, sunglasses for all three and the blessed iPhone full of music never listened to and many well watched versions of Super Why. In addition to "her" bags, she carries "their" bags ... 2 lunchboxes, 2 small backpacks and if it is a Monday morning - clean bedrolls for nap.

4. There would be no blissful walking hand-in-hand down the sidewalk. There would be a full-fledged version of "chase" or "tag" - extra points for dodging in and out of the passing cars on the street. After #1 came too close to a car, he would be summoned to the super-tight bicep hold with Mom's right hand. This would cause him to try and sit down on the sidewalk while walking ... so there is that Gopher popping out of a hole effect with each step Mom takes. After #2 toddler-ran too fast and busted face on the sidewalk, he'd be up in Mom's left arm ... with the entire list above under #3.

5. The Mom is sweating ... a lot ... hoping her deodorant is as high performance as Accenture.